Dave Arvelo (everyniteb4dark) wrote,
Dave Arvelo
everyniteb4dark

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God have mercy

These days it seems like i'm losing more and more touch with my sanity. No matter what I do, no matter how much effort I put in, I'm constantly barraged with bullshit. More bullshit. I feel like screaming and being violent because sometimes i feel like I just can't take it anymore, but I have so much self-control, and I hate the living crap out of it. I just want to let it all go, but it stays supressed. Where's the switch for calmness located? How can I turn it off? If lately you've seen me sit with my hand to my face, you know I'm toiling. I try not to tell anyone what the hell is going on with all this because I'm not a little baby bitch, but I figured it's okay to write in my journal. If you don't like what you read, or you have some sort of negative opinion about me, go fuck yourself. I hate everyone. And another thought: some people don't know how to treat other people with some fucking decency in this world. Cindy, Fedaa, and Angela, I hope you guys are having a fucking picnic. You women don't know how much you've hurt my feelings, and even if you did, I know you don't give a fuck. As far as I'm concerned, you're childish, heartless people, and I hope one day you'll realize that all the things you do can possibly damage someone's self-esteem. As far as school is concerned, FUCK IT. Fuck D'alessandro, fuck Furnari, and fuck ECC. You two bastards have ruined whatever hope I had of having a happy senior year, I hope you're really loving it, 'cause you've made my life fucking miserable. As for ECC, I love electronics, and I love the people there, but the curriculum can eat a cock. This doesn't go for Nunes, who's a good guy, but excuse me if I say I want to vomit for all the hell that course has put me through. And as I step off the podium and back into the real world, I'll welcome all the hatred and loathing and bullshit that will be handed to me, because that's all I can do. Welcome to hell, Dave. Enjoy your stay.
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  • 14 comments
what the fuck are you talking about?!
-CINDY
I know more things than you think I do.

Anonymous

January 4 2005, 13:55:42 UTC 12 years ago

Hang in there homie, high school is just a little bubble. soon enuff you'll be in college and everyone will be sayin "welcome to the real world" and you'll be able to give everyone else the fresh one and say fuck you all....
-anjuli
and what might that be? i am almost sure that what you hear and what you think is NOT what we say. please tell me and stop ignoring my IMs!!
I'm not ignoring your IMs. I happened to press a button at the moment you said something that made it close. Either way, I really don't want to talk about it. I'd rather just get on with my life. This post was meant to be a vent for me, and was definitely not meant to start more complications, so please just forget all you've read. I'll even take back that comment about childishness and heartlessness for you. No doubt this will become a topic of conversation for you and your friends, so I'm fucked anyway. But in the spirit of friendship, or lack thereof, I retract my statements.
ok. fine. regardless if you take back the comments.. i still want to know what we did or say. or at least what I did or I said. cause honestly... whatever you've heard is most DEFINITELY not about you. i swear. i haven't talked to you since like december! after you got the labs it was over with. that's it. so i really want to know what you "know."
Like I said, I don't want anymore trouble than what's already been dealt.
nothing was dealt with. and if you were able to say all that in your journal... the least you could've done is tell me what i did or said. and when all that is said.. that's when things are dealt with. and by the way... i DO give a FUCK!
-cindy

Anonymous

January 4 2005, 17:05:42 UTC 12 years ago

If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow
Don’t be alarmed now,
It’s just a spring clean for the may queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on.
And it makes me wonder.

Cheer up homes.
-Yay

Anonymous

January 4 2005, 17:14:10 UTC 12 years ago

"I can forgive, but I just can't forget, U on ur own little man don't ask me for sh!t"-DMX
hell yeah. its a fucked up road that only few can see and understand. everythings fine till there names are mentioned and then shithits the fan one way or another. girls take shit to seriously and there way oer dramatic with shit like this... i know. if it was teh otehr way around id laugh and say "good for them" just becuase they probalby feel better getting it off there chest. but hey dont listen to me. im a babbler :D and im practically dead already in this shit hole
:P Actually, once you vent and clear up misunderstandings, life gets a whole lot better.

Thanks for trynna' help me out, Toph. You da' man.
anytime dave..... anytime......
im sry ur going thu so much. sounds like u got a lot on ur mind, give me a call or sumthin if u wanna talk..i promise i wont judge, or say anythin to any one...i kno how u feel...and i understand..lifes a bitch